Livi's room

Last week was the big switch-a-roo into the big kid beds, and it couldn't have gone better!!  We literally just laid them down in the big beds one night to "see how it went", told them not to get out, and closed the door.  It was that easy!  No more cribs for my babies, which is a little bittersweet....it is nice to have overcome this hurdle so easily, but sad that they are one day closer to being big...Hayden calls it her "big crib".  For now, we are super lucky because they haven't figured out how to get out by themselves.  They could absolutely do it if they tried, but I keep telling them they need a helper so for now I am safe.  I guess that will have to change when they are potty trained, but for now I am enjoying them staying on one place.  Our one "incident" so far came when I went to get them up from nap and Hayden had pulled down the sheers that are hung under the cornice above her bed.  She held the whole mess up for me to see (rod and all) and said, "It fall down.  It's okay, Momma."  

Anyway, moving to the big beds meant that the crib was empty and ready for Livi's bedding...I was so excited to get it all out of the packaging and put it together last night....We hung the bird mobile I made, and despite the fact that it practically took a degree in engineering to make the birds hang straight, I LOVE IT!  It is so different...the babies keep asking, "Momma, what that?" and pointing to it.  I guess they don't remember the days of a mobile!  I put two little shelves above the crib to put stuff on (not sure what is going to go there yet) and thought they looked really cute, but both Shawn and my mom had to burst my bubble with the comment, "Won't she be able to reach those when she stands up?"  I'll just worry about that when she learns to stand up!  I'm more worried about my shelves not staying put and falling off the wall onto her.  (Maybe I should have Shawn double check them, now that I'm thinking of that!) I really,  REALLY wanted to put up chair moulding and paint the bottom half of the wall lavender, but after our whole remodel (and fresh paint in every room) the suggestion made my husband have a look on his face like he was going to throw up.  I guess the wall can stay beige.  For now, at least.  

We have a few more projects to do before baby Olivia gets here.  I have an antique chiffarobe that we are going to paint red for Cale's room....(poor guy has nothing to put his clothes in) and I want to blow up some pictures I've taken of the babies for both of their rooms!  I still need rugs, so we are looking at finding some remnants and getting them bound on the edges...I kept trying to find cute ones that matched their rooms, but I guess I am better off with neutral colors...so much to do, so little time!!!  

Teaching a two year old about God

We have been dealing with some behavioral issues lately, and I was reminded by my dear friend Joni that it's not too early to talk about obedience and how God expects the babies to obey their parents.  After a talk with her, I have been trying to talk more about it.....if all they understand is that they are accountable to someone other than me and daddy, that is enough for now.  When you're having a deep talk with a two year old, it's not always clear how much information is being absorbed, so I wasn't sure if they were even listening.  In the car yesterday, we had a pretty interesting dialogue. 

Hayden: Mommy, sing the Bible song.  

Me: (sings the Bible song...you know the one...."The B-I-B-L-E, is just the book for me..." 

Me:  You know, Jesus says we ought to obey our parents, and be kind, and love everyone.

Cale: And not kick the back of the seat. 

Okay.  So he understands Jesus doesn't appreciate seat kicking, I know that much.  Hayden's contribution was "God says: "No more monkeys jumping on the bed."

Today I was telling my parents about it, and the babies were listening. (as always)  Hayden piped in with "Jesus says "No-NO!".  All hilarity aside, I don't want them to think Jesus is a meanie, or that following him means no fun for the rest of your life.  I am hoping this is heading in the right direction...

Last week we ventured to Rockport to spend some quality time with our wonderful friends The Zunkers, and three quarters of the Sutherland family (Daddy Dub couldn't come) who we also love spending time with.  It was thoroughly relaxing, although going anywhere with two year olds gets a little interesting.  We spent lots of time sitting on the patio looking at the ocean, feeding the seagulls goldfish (the crackers, not the actual fish), letting the kiddos play in the water (mine weren't too hyped about this) and hitting baseballs off the tee in the front yard.  (Of course, we had to come right home and buy our own tee and new wiffle balls for Cale...he is obsessed) 

We set up the babies two pack n plays, and crammed their big two year old selves in them for naps and nighttime, which worked well....minus the one night Hayden woke up SCREAMING bloody murder and wouldn't stop....we were so worried she would wake up every other kid in the house and the Zunkers would send us packing....I stuffed a towel under our door in a lame attempt at sound proofing, and finally she went back to sleep, with the help of some milk.  For some reason, she decided she LOVED her Daddy in an extreme fashion during this trip, and I was a bum on the street corner, so he had to do everything...put on her shoes, refill her milk, carry her down the stairs...(wait, why is this bad again?) It is another reminder how humbling motherhood is.....how can you give birth to a human who you would give your life for, and they decide biting you and screaming "NO" in your face is an appropriate response to that love?  Sigh.  I am sure there's lots more where that came from in my future.  

Anyway, we loved, loved, LOVED the beach, and came home with a ton of questionable looking shells that Daddy helped the babies collect in the water.....they are in a red bucket and have been dumped out, sorted and reloaded in the bucket about four hundred times today alone....

Potty training: Mommy's the one getting schooled!!

So we've had the little green froggy potty for awhile.  We've tried to sit on it before bathtime, and both babies have gone number one in it ONE time each.  I guess they figured "been there, done that" and have moved on.  We suggest the potty at other times, but often get a "No" when we ask if they want to sit on it.  I'm not overly excited about pushing this potty thing...I think it will happen when they are good and ready....I just sort of felt like I should give it a try, being that they are showing all the signs of "potty readiness".  Dry diapers after nap? Check.  Interest in Mommy and Daddy using the potty? Check.  Asking to be changed when they are wet or dirty?  Check.  Plus, we are about to have to start buying NB diapers by the truckload again, so I thought it might be nice to have at least ONE baby semi-trained by the end of July.  We've tried to be pretty nonchalant about the whole thing....we talk about how big boys and girls go on the potty, and even have a jar of M&M's as a reward.  (They like the M&M's, just not enough to "perform" for them)  We got a little worried this past week, because Hayden all of a sudden had some moderate anxiety about the whole thing.  She would cry at naptime and at bedtime, saying "NOOOO!  I poop in my bed!"  We kept telling her it was okay, but the anxiety continued.  She got worse every day.  Asking me to change her about forty times a day, asking me to wash her hands all day long, crying at bathtime because she thought the bathtub was "dirty"...I even had to spray the cleaner in it and rinse in front of her to make her stop.   I told Shawn I think this is ALL very Freudian, and connected to the potty training.  She knows she can control it, and what the potty is for, but for some reason she is SO against using it.  After all the anxiety of the past week, we laid off for a while.....the nervousness has subsided a little bit, but the discussions have continued.  She is still upset when she has poop in her diaper, so to reassure her, we told her that everyone poops.  We made a big list of all the people and animals that poop, and that seemed to help.  She has been cracking us up with her random comments...in the middle of CostCo, she'll ask me, "Mommy, kitty cats poop?" and we have to assure her that yes, kitty cats do poop.  These are the things we will think are HILARIOUS later....right now I'm still a tiny bit worried there is some OCD starting or something!  (Hey! It's not impossible...she has a Mimi that vacuums twice a day!)  

What if????

I was lucky enough last go round not to experience postpartum depression.  I have several wonderful friends who had the unlucky experience of having it, and I SO sympathize.  My problem seems to be anxiety WHILE I am pregnant.  Last time I was fine when the babies arrived, but in the weeks building up to their arrival, I lay in bed at night (isn't that always where we worry the most??) wondering what I had gotten myself into.  Was I going to be a good mother?  What if I got postpartum depression?  What if I didn't love them?  What if my weight stayed at a number where I could feasibly play high school football if I wanted to?  What if they never slept?  The list of worries went on and on and on.....while my happy husband ALWAYS lay there snoozing soundly beside me.  (Never awake so that I could vocalize my worries....he was too busy being happy and normal to stay awake worrying.)  As the weeks to Livi's arrival wind down (eight more to go!!) I am finding myself in a similar situation.  This is curious to me, because for the most part, I sort of have an education now in newborn care.  This isn't my first rodeo....but the worries are different.  Sure, I didn't die of a blood clot during the last c-section, but what if something goes terribly awry during this one?  What if the epidural doesn't kick in and I am like Hayden Christiansen in that creepy movie where he can feel everything they are doing?  (My husband reminds me that I won't be asleep during the surgery, so I can just tell them if that happens....I am pretty sure I'd already be in shock, so his rationale doesn't help much.) What if I stay fat? (Yep, that worry is sticking around this time, too)...but most of all, What if I can't handle three kids under three?  Compounding my worry (which I try so hard not to let get to me) is the guilt of being worried at all.  I have a firm belief that God gives us what we can handle, and I know He doesn't want me to worry.  

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for God is with you wherever you go." 

Joshua 1:9 

Who am I not to listen to Him when He is so clearly commanding me not to worry??  I feel okay during the day, but just like last time....when I am trying to go to sleep...that is when the worries kick in.  It doesn't help much that half the people I encounter look at me like I am the Octo-Mom...having babies like rabbits!  Some people even ask outright what is wrong with me....I ALWAYS respond with a joke about how I am out of my mind or something, but inside I sort of feel bad for doing so.  Three years ago, I was worried I would never get pregnant, and now I am seven months into a COMPLETELY unplanned pregnancy, which I thought was impossible for us.  I feel blessed, I AM blessed....I need to remember that everyday, and not let my worries or insecurities about what other people think affect my thoughts or words.  I need to remind myself how much I LOVE being a mommy, and how I have survived fine this far.  I need to remember how my babies make me laugh harder than anyone on the planet.  I need to remember how they make me feel more significant than I've ever felt.  I also need to remember to make bibs and burp cloths, monogram about four new blankets for this baby, finish painting a little rocking chair....the list of to-do's goes on.....but mostly I need to remember to live in the moment and let today take care of today....