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Sunday, July 1, 2007

The babies are sort of sleeping now, and I have sat down for the first time in about seventy two mom went to San Fran to meet my dad, and we aren't used to doing without her! At least it is the weekend and Shawn was home...I would have been laying around in the same clothes for three days had he not been here. The babies must be going through a growth spurt, because they aren't eating and going right to sleep anymore...they eat, sleep for about fifteen minutes, and then are either wide awake or start to fuss. I wondered when we were supposed to start feeding them more-I guess I know now!! Cale is HUGE! He feels like a linebacker compared to Hayden. She is so dainty like a little bird, which is good I guess.....if one of them has to be a beefy baby, I would much rather it be him. It would stink for him to spend his whole life being bullied by his bigger sister.
We ran all over the place this weekend....on Saturday, we went to Boerne to visit with Kelly and Ronny. We ate at a Mexican restaurant, and the babies slept pretty much the whole time... after dinner we stayed WAY too late at their house talking and laughing...Cale needed a diaper change, and we gave Ronny the chance to do the honors, since their little one will be here in about four months...he cracked us all up when he said, "No, the first diaper I will change will be my father's." Our idea of Saturday night fun has definitely changed, but we don't mind at all! At least everyone else around us is having babies, too-so we have lots of people to hang out with at home on the weekends! The twenty one year old me would think that this kind of fun was worthless, but that is why I am grateful every day that we waited until when we did to get married and have babies. I am so much better equipped for this now than I would have been even five years ago, and that isn't saying much. It is so true that everything works out in the end for a reason....
I am starting to feel like we are settling into a little routine....I used to be pretty scared to be left alone with the babies during the day, but it gets better every day. I have realized it is not going to kill them to cry, and sometimes they are going to have to wait their turn....even if it hurts everyone's feelings and ears in a ten mile radius. Some days are definitely better than day I will feel like I am really getting the hang of motherhood, other days I feel like I would be doing everyone a favor if I just called child protective services myself and turned the babies over before someone finds out that I have no idea what I am doing! Those are the days that Shawn comes home and I am still in pajamas and haven't showered or eaten, the dogs haven't been fed, and the vacuum cleaner is still in the middle of the room where I got it out and meant to do some cleaning! I have really mastered the art of burping one of them while balancing the other one on my lap....which is pretty funny...the one on my lap thinks they are being held when in all actuality, they are really just being propped near me. Whatever works!!!
I guess this is probably how everyone feels, whether they have one baby or five. The other morning Cale was crying and I had tried everything....I fed him, and diaper changed him, burped him, gave him Mylicon, talked to him....and all the while I am thinking about all the things that needed to get done around the house.....I had so much I wanted to get accomplished and the crying jag wasn't fitting into the schedule. Finally, I just crawled into bed and held him, and he was as happy as can be. I guess he was just lonely....I realized that I had been so worried about getting dumb chores done, and really the most important thing I need to do every day is make sure these babies know they are loved by me! I sat and held him for a long time, and thought about the day that he would want me to drop him off around the corner from the movies, or when he wouldn't let me kiss him in front of his friends....(of course, I cried! Doing that a lot lately!!) I need to remind myself every day that they are more important than dog hair on my floor, or dirty dishes in my sink. They are only tiny for so long, and I need to enjoy them now while they want me all the time!! Before I know it we will be learning to walk, shopping for school supplies, graduating from high I go again!! I need to invent Kleenex on a rope!