Moving on and Settling in....

We're finally really settled in to this new house....it's been an adventure, and not one I care to repeat for quite a while.  Luckily, we can see ourselves in this house for the duration, because moving with three tiny people and a husband that works sixty hours a week was a pain in my arse.  The house is in great shape, but there are a million and one tiny projects lined up that will help make it feel like OURS.  The kiddos love the pool, and their new rooms....they ask about the old house sometimes, and Hayden wanted to know when we were going to go back inside it.  I told her "probably never" and that made me sad.  I drove by twice to see what it looked like since it changed hands, and I probably won't do that again for awhile....it made me really sad.  Moving on was necessary, but it's hard to separate myself from the house that held so many good memories for us!  

So for now, we start in on making new memories here.  It's days like these that we do just that....play with chalk in the sunlight, waiting for Daddy to get home from work.  

Every day it starts to feel more and more like our new home.....and I'm excited for all the fun memories we're going to make here!

My fifth mother's day....

Five years!  Has it really been five years that I've been doing this?  I'm no expert, but I'm surely a lot better at this than I was five years ago....me and these three tiny humans learned together.  I didn't know what I was doing when I brought two tiny babies home from the hospital (one with her legs up by her head in the car seat because we didn't know how to strap them in yet).....and I was only marginally better at mothering when we brought home Livi...

but I know now this mothering thing isn't about being perfect.

Because if it was, I would really, really stink at it. 

But wouldn't we all?

I mean really, who is doing this mothering thing so well that they go to bed thinking, "Man, I really knocked it out of the park today!  I am pretty much the world's best mother!"

I know I don't....ever.  

Lots of nights I lay in bed and feel like I didn't do enough...

I remember how I spoke harshly, or didn't have enough patience, or hurried someone through their story and into bed, and I wish I could get a "do over".  

And although you can't "do-over" your mistakes, you can learn from them and get a little bit better each time.  

I think I've gotten easier on myself.

I know I can be impatient, (especially by the time 5 p.m. rolls around and I've broken up the 12th fight of the day) but I know no one could ever love my kids exactly the way I do.  

I know my kids know I'm not perfect, but I know they know how loved they are.  

I know they think their Mommy thinks they are smart, funny and lovable...and loves them best of all.

So even though I'm not perfect at this thing called mothering, and it's BY FAR the hardest thing I've ever done, EVER...

I'm so grateful I get the chance to do it.  

I remember when I was pregnant with the twins, and a friend's mother gave me card and in it she wrote, "Think how special God must believe you are that He trusted you with the job of mothering not one, but TWO babies."...and I was so grateful for that sweet sentiment.  It wasn't about "Good Luck: You're going to need it." or "How are you going to HANDLE two babies???" but "WOW.  You are going to be amazing at this, and God knows it."  

Not that it meant I was always going to do the best job, but that whatever job I did, it was going to be enough, because God believed in me enough to give me these sweet gifts....

allowing me to be someone's MOTHER. 

Even though it means getting pooped on, peed on, barfed on, embarrassed in the grocery store, kicked in the face while you're sleeping, yelled at and it ruins the stomach that used to look good in a bikini,  etc....

it's still the best thing ever.

Isn't that funny?  

No matter how good you think you have it, becoming a mother makes all that other stuff completely insignificant.  None of it matters anymore except them...

Are they healthy?

Are they making friends?  

Is someone (God Forbid, because I'm coming after them) being mean to them?

So today I'm grateful for three feisty, precocious, creative, interesting, smart, thoughtful, hilarious, loving, tender hearted, brave, healthy children.....and grateful that I get to call myself their mother.   

They are absolutely the best thing I never knew I'd be lucky enough to call my own, and I'll take a kick in the face any day to get to keep doing it...

All I have to do is look back through these sweet pictures to remember how fleeting it is....it was yesterday that we brought the twins home, and now they're five!  FIVE.  How did this happen?  

It speeds by like lightning, and someday I will MISS tiny bodies taking up my sleeping space, three tiny people clamoring for more milk, another spoon (while my dinner sits getting cold.) I will miss potty training (did I just say that??) and miss being woken up when it's barely light outside by a tiny girl who can barely see over my mattress and is standing in the dark eating a can of pringles next to my bed....

so today, during this season of my life, I will be grateful for this, for this job God's given me...

grateful for ALL of it, everyday....

I will leave my floors dirty to spend 2 hours putting together a Lego Ice Cream shop with my girls.

I will ignore laundry to sit at the table with Cale and help him spell as he writes "tickets" for us all for doing something wrong.  

I will take my kids to the park when I really just want to watch HGTV and let them play here....

because I'm so glad I get to be their Mommy....

Birthday Adventure: Age 5

Every year on our kids' birthdays, we try to something special with them to commemorate the event.  (Yes, in addition to their birthday dinner, school party, and real birthday party...sigh)  The older they get, it gets harder to find something different and age appropriate to do with them that they haven't already done a hundred times before.  This year, we decided to take them to eat lunch at the Tower of the Americas.  Cheesy and touristy, yes....fun for a five year old, absolutely!!

 Filled with excitement about riding to the top....and still crippled with the inability to look at the camera when Mommy's taking a picture. 

 The kids looked out the window.  Mommy looked at the kids.  Looking out the window as we rode up made Mommy want to puke on herself for some reason. 

 Thank God for crayons!!  This wasn't the fastest service in town, folks.....

 You'll notice two things about this picture.  The tiny one sat everywhere except her own seat.  We really needed a high chair, but the sat us in one of those booths that are up off the ground, which would have put tiny lady's face level with the table, so she sat in the booth.  Lots of wiggling in the seat, standing up, jumping, crawling under the table, and on Daddy's lap ensued.  Fun times. 

(And yes, that's Mommy's drink in the foreground, purchased only to counteract the sweaty palms I was feeling about dining a billion feet off the ground) 

 After paying 150 bucks for lunch, what's left to do besides roll all over the lobby couches in a super classy manner?  Nothing?  You're right!! 

 General silliness always occurs when I want one, JUST ONE, good picture of my three babies at any event. 

They loved the fountains in Hemisfair Park, and Livi wanted to know "Who takes a bath here?"  I told her "Probably homeless people", which started her off on a totally different tangent....

After lunch, we headed to Malibu to drive the race cars.  This was Daddy's idea.  I wanted to take them to the children's museum, but he really, REALLY wanted to take them to drive the cars.  

 The tiny one didn't like that she was too little to ride in the cars.  We didn't know this going in to this little adventure, so we felt really bad...she made this face the whole time, and hollered through the gate as their car went by, "I'm BIG!  I'm not too little!!"  It was so sad!

Daddy had to take them driving, since Mommy was wearing flip flops and they were strictly prohibited.  I'm guessing 98 percent of the people who show up to drive these cars are wearing flip flops, so that rule has got to put a dent in their ticket sales.  There was a giant sign there that said the minimum age to drive was 18....which made me wonder how many people OLDER than 18 actually want to come drive tiny cars around a track.  I'm guessing not many, and they're all 19.  

This was fun, but will definitely be more fun when they're a bit bigger...Hayden had no problem jumping in the car with her Daddy, but I noticed her gripping the side of the car with both hands every time they drove past me.  I think it made her a little bit nervous.  I asked her if her Daddy was a good driver, and she said, "He was okay."

Fun times with my tiny people!