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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Momma needs a stiff drink....

It's a good thing that I love this kid and that he came from my own body.  If I didn't adore him like I do, I think I might have sold him on the black market today.  We have had a banner day, even by his standards.  We started the day with some covert pants pooping, which I thought we were WAY past at this point.....after we cleaned up THAT whole situation, I discovered about four hundred thousand tiny pieces of paper on the playroom floor.  I put my detective skills to work, and realized they were a: sticky and b: covered with tiny pink writing, that when pieced together read "Hubba Bubba".  I'm not even sure where he found it, since no one in this house chews hubba bubba, but it was clear from the volume of tiny paper slivers that it started out as a whole pack of gum.  Clearly, my detective skills aren't as good as his hiding skills, because it took me ten hours to actually figured out what happened to the gum.  (Each piece, carefully unwrapped and stuffed down into the post of his batting tee....and I still can't figure out how to get them out)  After cleaning up all the tiny pieces of paper (which were sticking to the carpet, necessitating them being picked up BY HAND instead of by vacuum)  the boy decided he was thirsty.  He got out a brand new gallon jug of apple juice, dropped it on the floor and watched as it cracked in half and became a veritable flood of refreshment that tidal waved under my refrigerator and washing machine.  Awesome.  Keep in mind this was all before ten a.m.
"Naptime" (in quotations since no actual sleeping occurs) consisted of taking every item of clothing out of his drawers and off the hangers in his closet.  When I asked why, he told me he "needed to make a leaf pile" and told me not to "be a bad guy".  After nap he liberated about six hundred peach puffs from their container, and their new home is EVERY crevice of the playroom.  Under the couch, in every toy basket, all over the carpet, in every piece of kitchen equipment belonging to the play kitchen.  After the kind of day we've had, the only thing that really surprises me is the amount of puffs that came out of that container.  Maybe those things are a good deal after all.  I used to think 3. 50 was a little overpriced, but seeing them all over the room made me double think that assumption.
Added to all that "fun", he also left the hot water running in the bathroom for who knows how long, got some of the puffs stuck to the bath mat (because we all know they start to dissolve when they get wet), and took all the bath toys out of the basket and loaded them in the bathroom sink.
We haven't even had dinner yet, so I am cautious about referring to this day in the past tense.....there are a few more hours left for him to wreak havoc.
In case you are wondering, this is NOT one of those days when I think I might want a fourth baby.

3 comments:

natalie said...

not being the mother, i find this humorous...and quite creative for a lil 3 year old!

The Stringers said...

Ha! Glad to know I'm not the only one with a ring-tailed tooter out there. And people wonder "What were you doing when he got into such-and-such?" You were cleaning up the last disaster!! My day was no where near as epic as yours. However, if the bookshelf and cupboard in my kitchen want to sunbathe without fear of skin cancer today, they're all set.

Alison said...

I love the "don't be a bad guy" line!