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Thursday, October 23, 2008

The. Worst. Grocery. Trip. Ever.

I generally consider myself a pretty capable person. That is why I decided I could handle both babies by myself in HEB yesterday. You see, I usually have one or both of my parents around to help me out (Thank you for that!!) but seeing as they are in Europe for ten days, and life has to go on while they are gone, I decided to go by myself.
Don't get me wrong, I DO go places by myself with the babies, but they are planned according to ease/accessibility. For example, CostCo is always a go because they have a double seated cart. Ross/TJMaxx/Mall, etc I can handle alone because I just take the double stroller. The grocery store isn't that simple. I could take them in the stroller, if I were only wanting to pick up one or two things. But seeing as I needed groceries, (not "grocery") it gets a little harder. I decided to drive through the parking lot, and ONLY stop if I spotted one of the "twosies" in the cart corral. Normally, stores have only one or two of these, just tailor made for "freaks" who have more than one kid. I spotted one, pulled in next to it, and started to onload the brood, only to find that EVERY strap on the thing is broken. Apparently they want your kid to perch their tiny uncoordinated bums on the little seat and just sit nicely. (not happening) A nice little employee saw my distress, and ran off to find another one. He retrieved one with only 75% of the straps broken, and I REALLY needed groceries, so off we went. We managed to get bananas and grapes before I looked down and saw Hayden dangling (completely unfazed...she almost looked like she liked it) from the side of the cart like she was rappelling. I unstrapped her, and carried her for a bit. I threw a few more things in the cart, and then Cale decided it wasn't fair that she was "out" and he wasn't, so he stood up in the other seat. I put her down to fix him, and she ran off. I grabbed him, chased her and stood there with two crying kids, (who were thrashing and hitting me, no less) trying to figure out what the heck to do. People were walking by me staring and gawking....It was horrible!!!!! I finally decided to put them in the cart with the groceries, and tried to make it to one last stop: the milk. Before we got there, they had unloaded all the groceries from the cart, onto the floor. (Thank you, can of raviolis for not landing on my foot) Apparently word got back to the manager of my situation, and he came RUNNING (I am not exaggerating) up to me and asked if he could help. I told him no, I was managing just fine (Ha) but that their carts were a "deathtrap" and needed to be repaired. He even offered to put one of the babies in another cart and follow me while I was shopping. I was too at the end of my rope to take him up on it. I just told him no, that was fine. I would just keep rolling down the aisles with groceries flying out of my cart, and I would just sue their store if either of them fell out of the cart. He walked off looking very confused.....I would have cried hysterically if it weren't so the time we got to the car, both babies were sucking on a "bribery sucker" (I keep dum dums in my purse for emergencies: it is the baby equivalent to a tranquilizer gun for large bush animals) We finally made it home intact, with a bruised bunch of bananas and a semi-flat loaf of bread. I told Shawn that he could probably tell by looking at the groceries which aisle the big meltdown occured on. Never. Ever. Again.